Organizing Your Family's Calendar When Something Big Changes
Whether it’s a new season of the year or a new season in your life, change is inevitable. The way you use your time and coordinate your schedule can turn on a dime. A proactive response to crisis—or shifting stages of life—is key to keeping your family on the same page and up-to-date. When your calendar is coordinated and organized, it leads to reduced stress and conflict. You will also create a greater sense sense of partnership among family members when schedules are shared and responsibilities distributed in advance. Read on for practical tips to manage your calendar during big life changes.
Tip #1: Settle on a Single, Solitary Location for the Calendar
Most families have incoming calendar events from multiple sources. You might receive school emails about a field trip, work calendar events, social invitations via text, or medical appointment reminders in the mail. The key to getting organized is having one central master calendar where everyone’s events are compiled. Often this takes the form of a digital calendar, with one family member as primary manager. Key events might be transferred to a dry erase board or paper calendar on a weekly or monthly basis. Especially if you have kids, there should be a more digestible version of the calendar for younger eyes as well as a centralized master calendar for adults. That way, all caregivers can be on the same page so that rides to school, appointments, etc. can be coordinated.
Tip #2: Require a Rule that Everything Must be Included
Everything that has a set time must be included on your calendar! This includes weekly commitments that you know about in your mind, but need to be accounted for in the family calendar so appointments aren’t accidentally double booked. Work commitments—especially when there are meetings or travel outside of regular work hours—should be immediately transferred to the calendar. If you have one person as the primary calendar manager, all family members need to text or email this person to make sure everything is on the calendar. When your kid’s sports schedule comes home, that needs to be integrated to the calendar. Doctors’ appointments, dentist appointments, back to school night should all be included. Don’t forget blocks of time for home maintenance projects, hobbies, or vacations. If you’re going to be spending time doing it, it needs to be on the calendar or you risk that to another activity will take its place.
Tip #3: Make Time for a Mandatory Weekly Family Meeting
If you have more than one person in your household, you need to establish a weekly touch point where you review the upcoming week of activities. Transportation schedules can be finalized and you can see how everyone is feeling about the level of busyness and outside commitments you’ve made. Maybe you decide it’s time to have some people over, so find a time on the calendar and put out an invitation! It’s also healthy to evaluate whether your time is actually hitting your desires and goals for your family life. Are you making blocking off time for those important relationships? Do Mom and Dad need a date night? What about extended family visits, or inviting friends over for a game night? Our time reflects our values, and we need to plan accordingly. Touching base weekly will help you make sure you’re including what really matters rather than just reacting to whatever demands your time most insistently.
Tip #4: Stay Open to Starting from Scratch, if Needed
Sometimes the life changes we experience are so big that we need to reconsider our calendar. Maybe there’s a weekly commitment that needs to be put on hold due to a medical emergency or the needs of a family member. Maybe the current way you’re managing your calendar just isn’t working and things keep slipping through the cracks. It’s worth starting from scratch to make sure you have a system that works moving forward. Some examples might be: kids switching schools and the pick up and drop off times are changing, teens making their own plans where transportation is a factor, or older parents who need rides to medical appointments. It’s important to realize that life shifts happen and it’s better to be proactive and responsive than to hold on with white knuckles to an old system that is no longer working. If you have made commitments of time and energy that no longer fit with your current responsibilities, now is the time to graciously bow out. Maybe you need to “give notice” on a few current commitments to make space for the new realities of your life. Or maybe you just need to figure out a new system for tracking your family’s time commitments so you can be proactive instead of reactive.
These days, family schedules can be quite busy and it can feel like everyone’s going in a different direction! Believe it or not change—even difficult change—can lead to incredible growth. When we are proactive and realistic about what we can actually do within our limits, we can find peace. Setting a schedule that prioritizes your relationships and takes into account the needs of your current family situation is worth the time and investment.
If you're ready for an expert to bring order from the chaos of your family calendar, I've got your back! Contact me and let's get to know each other.
Warmly,
Karina
